Back when #YesAllWomen created a flood of “Because…” posts on the web, a friend posted her list on Facebook. I asked if I could share it; she said I could. I started a draft that day, then drifted away from it as I frequently do with my posts.
Today I came to my site to add a new post and saw CS’s list again. Now, in light of the recent Supreme Court “Hobby Lobby” ruling, it seems like it’s a good time time to share it.
- Because when I was 9 to 10 years old my stepfather started sexually assaulting me daily and when I finally got the courage to turn him in after a year, the advice I was given by people I trusted was “DON’T FLIRT.” At 10 YEARS OLD.
- Because when I was at my friend’s restraining order trial to keep her rapist from contacting her they showed her naked pictures she had sent him as “evidence.”
- Because when I was in 6th grade, a boy named Richard punched me in the face and we both got office referrals because I “must’ve done something.”
- Because when I was 18, I woke up to a guy’s hands up my shirt feeling me up the morning after a party. I was so scared I had to pretend I was waking up slowly so he’d stop.
- Because I was afraid to be labeled as a female in the comedy world because I didn’t want to be perceived as “weak” “emotional” “nagging” or “unfunny.”
- Because I rarely wear a ponytail except when I’m at home because I’ve read countless articles that rapists use them to grab their victims.
- Because when I got my first kiss at 12 it was with a boy who was cheating on his girlfriend because she wouldn’t sleep with him. When I also refused, he told kids at school we had anal.
- Because out of the 14 solid years I’ve spent writing, filming, acting, conducting interviews, web shows, producing live shows and performing comedy at prestigious festivals and venues I’m STILL brought up on stage with my only credit being “cute.”
- Because when we try to share these experiences we get comments like “it’s not all men,” as if we’re so stupid we can’t differentiate.
- Because way too many of us attempt to share our stories and delete them out of fear of being mocked, judged or told #notallmen
- Because we’re afraid that we’ll come off as man-hating when all we’re doing is trying to find strength.
- Because we’re tired of being told we’re overreacting when we say we don’t feel safe.
- Because I’m scared to post this.
- Here is the fucking hashtag. #yesallwomen
So, why did I feel it was appropriate that I post CS’s #YesAllWomen list today?
- Because the Supreme Court ruled that any company I work for has the right to make decisions on how I maintain my sexual wellness based on their religious beliefs.
- And because that scares the shit out of me.
* The Hobby Lobby has actually invested in numerous companies that manufacture both contraceptive devices and abortion products. Don’t believe me? Check it out at: http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2014/04/01/hobby-lobby-401k-discovered-to-be-investor-in-numerous-abortion-and-contraception-products-while-claiming-religious-objection/
Susan, I just read this. It affected me deeply, and I think you are bold, brave, and generous to share it with the world.